Self-talk

For most of us, there’s a self-talk debate going on inside our heads between the part of us that thinks, “I can save the world!” and the other part that says, “Don’t be ridiculous!”

The first statement sounds like a spontaneous, adventurous child who thinks only in possibilities, and is sometimes reckless. The second sounds like a concerned, protective parent who is trying to maintain control, and is sometimes censoring and punishing.

This nonstop conversation affects everything in our lives and constantly shows us what we believe about ourselves. If it’s positive, it can work well for us. But if it’s negative, it will beat us up. So getting these two to cooperate is the key to positive self-talk.

If our inner child is undisciplined and reckless, and our inner parent is authoritative and critical, our daily lives will reflect the conflict. But if our child is happy and playful, and our parent is responsible and kind, it can serve us well.

One way to manage our self-talk is to identity our unsupportive beliefs – and then to positively reword them into statements that are supportive and believable. Most important is to amplify the self-appreciating statements we’re already telling ourselves, because the more we repeat them, the more benefit we’ll receive.

We’re all capable of replacing negative thoughts with healthy ones. And we need to tell ourselves what confirms our value, and nothing that doesn’t.

Supportive self-talk is a cooperative fusion between the positive aspects of our inner parent and inner child: wisdom, responsibility, assurance and safe boundaries, combined with curiosity, creativity, spontaneity and love.

Positive self-talk isn’t just motivational affirmations stuck on the bathroom mirror. It’s a healthy lifestyle that shows we care about ourselves 24/7, by consciously choosing which aspect of our self-talk we’ll allow the most broadcasting time each day.